I can't say I'm in love
by VoidArmour
Summary: Hecate reflects on her involvement with Hades and Perephone, and her own feelings. Rated T because I'm not sure.


**I can't say I'm in love.  
**

I can only watch as they greet each other, together on the bank of the Styx, on what is, far above, a warm autumn evening. Reunited once again, they embrace once again, after a summer apart. Hades, ruler of the underworld, has been within his kingdom, whilst his wife Persephone has spent the spring and summer upon the surface, as was determined in that fateful agreement long ago.

As I watch, I feel that slight twinge in my heart, almost smothered by the effects of time, but I still feel like. It feels almost like envy, envy for the woman in the king's arms. But I don't envy her, because I don't want him.

When I was barely more than a girl (1), war began. Zeus stood against his father Cronus, a tyrant leading the Titan regime. Hades fought with his younger brother, and although my grandfather allied himself with his own brother, I was young and idealistic enough to join with what would later form the Olympian deities. I had always been skilled at magic and navigation, arts that served well for a group still trying to gain power. It was then I made friends with Hades. He was always quieter, even than his siblings, and he seemed to be more serious than the others. His own skills involved shadows, so we made a valuable pair for scouting and spying during those battles (2). It was those times alone, hidden from our family, that we became friends.

Perhaps that was why I followed him down into the underworld. He was, well not _happy_ as such,but willing, to take the realm neither of his brothers wanted, and left them to fight between themselves for the best place. In truth, he felt guilt, that as the oldest son he could do nothing for so long, and wanted to ensure that his father and his allies stayed in Tartarus, where they were trapped.

Still, the underworld is rather lonely. Many of the deities that were already here were either the guards to the prisoners of Tartarus, or were ancient primal beings that were almost alien. Even Charon, the friendliest of the residents, and the most 'normal', is stranger than you'd expect. There are few visitors to the underworld, even now, and back then almost none, save Iris (3), and later Hermes, when bringing messages from above. Thus, we got close, and gave each other company. I was the one he trusted to be open with, and he was always there to support me. We also began to meet each other's baser needs. It was never love, not for him, because he didn't seem to be able to feel such things. I heard, from others, when I walked the land, that neither Aphrodite, nor her son, could move him to love anyone. (4) Even so, I always felt affection for that god, which began to slowly shift to something stronger than friendship.

That changed when he saw her. Kore, as she was named by her mother, was Demeter's pride and joy, who she protected above all else, and shielded from gods with eyes for her. He fell in love, just when everyone had decided it was impossible, and not long before I probably would have fallen for him. Perhaps it's for the best that I didn't – my heart gets to stay in one piece, and I get a friend I wouldn't have otherwise had. Still, it was new to him, love, and it was me he turned to. It was a good thing too, as he was considering kidnapping the girl – the stories that say he did mostly record Demeter's side of the story, and it took a long time for her to forgive him. Instead, I made the first move. Taking his message to her, I arranged meetings upon the surface between the two of them. At first, it was likely that he treated her as an adult, but she was soon falling for him too.

One day she asked to come with him, back down here. Of course he would agree, since he wanted her to join him, but I don't think he expected her to ask first. Despite the stories you here, he was adamant that she only ate food from the surface whilst she was down here. Naturally, it was I who had to fetch the girl food. She and I spoke often – Hades had a kingdom to run, and unlike his brothers, did a lot himself, so although he wished to spend as much time with her as possible, he couldn't always be there. We soon became friends, and it was I who gave her a new name. After all, 'Kore', meaning 'maiden', isn't really a fitting name for anyone, let alone someone who was queen of the underworld in all but name. At first, I didn't want to mention her mother's grief, but as she began to miss her home (and food up there became scarcer), I had to be truthful with her.

Hades was torn over letting her go, but he never really wanted to trap her. The newly renamed Persephone ate those seeds herself, to prove to him she would come back, and I was glad. She was a positive influence for the both of us – although as stoic as he when in her official role as queen of the underworld, she was, and still is, such a happy person in private, that both of us couldn't help but be affected by it. Though the underworld is still a gloomy place, at least outside Elysian, in winter it is made brighter by the presence of the goddess of spring.

Even after all these years, they're still happy together. There was that nymph who tried to seduce him, and those mortals with that frankly insane plan to kidnap her_ from the underworld, _but both times the other put a stop to the fools who tried it. That's not to say they've never had disagreements - certainly there have been years when she's been all too eager to leave, but not once has she been unwilling to come back to her throne.

A creak and a splash, and Charon's boat drifts back out into the waters of the Styx. The two are still speaking to each other, but that's fine. I have all winter with the pair of them, and all summer with each in turn; they can have their partings and reunions. They're a model couple, certainly better than his brothers, and I cannot help but smile. I cannot begrudge them their happiness, especially as both of them have been such good friends to me, but even though I don't envy her, even though it's better for everyone this way, sometimes I can't help but feel it would be nice if it was me.

END.

Yes, Hades and Persephone are an excellent match, but having seen some art of a young and single-faced Hecate, reading that she and Persephone were close, and having checked out the family tree and seen exactly where she fits into it, I sort of began to wonder about her with Hades, and I came up with this.

(1) Hecate is generally a pre-Olympian deity, but at least one version has her mother as Asteria, the sister of Apollo and Artemis' mother Leto, and thus she's actually a generation after Hades. It therefore seems odd that she'd be much, if any, older than Hades, especially counting from his original birth rather than his disgorging from Cronus.

(2) To clarify: Hecate's domain includes where three paths meet, or where you'd have to pick between two routes. It seemed appropriate that she'd have some navigation skills. The tools the Cyclopes gave Hades, Zeus and Poseidon are a bit too coincidental considering where they ended up, hence I went with the notion that they related to abilities the three already had.

(3) Iris is not directly related to the Olympians, so seems to me to be rather more likely to be around at the beginning of the Olympian regime than Hermes, hence here I've made her the first messenger.

(4) I don't see Hades as that interested in love and sex. Given what his brothers are like, that he cheated at most twice (Zeus has between 5 and 8 children by 3 - 6 different women within the 12 Olympians alone) is indicative that at the _very_ least he has higher standards, and likely just isn't as bothered.


End file.
